


Cleo's House of Jumpscares

by Duchess_Of_Dumpsters



Category: Hermitcraft RPF, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, I borrowed BastardBin's version of Gertrude, Kisses aren't a currency for a reason, Mistakes were made, My pen is clean, SFW shipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:33:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22455019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duchess_Of_Dumpsters/pseuds/Duchess_Of_Dumpsters
Summary: Cleo works her armor stand magic and turns a previously abandoned mini-game into a fun house of frights!
Relationships: Cleo/Joe, ZombieCleo/JoeHills
Comments: 9
Kudos: 53





	Cleo's House of Jumpscares

“And there you are,” Cleo said, handing over the fifty diamonds she’d mined for hours and hours to find. Grian accepted them almost giddily, half distracted as he shoved the deed her way.

“Pleasure doing business with you, I look forward to seeing what you do with the place,” Grian said, stuffing the diamonds away into his shulker.

“I’ll let everyone know once it’s opened,” She assured him, turning to face the haunted mansion she’d just purchased. Oh, she had plans alright. Grian headed off and Cleo took down the bar in front of the doors of the mansion, going in and demoing the inside. It wasn’t that there was anything wrong with Grian’s interior work. It just aligned with the game he was planning and it wouldn’t work with her plans. As soon as she had a clean slate to work with she began planning everything out, the rooms, the secret passages. The small amounts of redstone she’d con someone else into doing and automated jumpscares that required said redstone. It was a large project but she fully intended to focus on it until it was finished. 

Several days passed as she ground away at the build, fully immersed and planning as she went. In her mind, there was a whole story to the place, a bit of lore she’d tuck in a book somewhere. Once the structural elements were in place, room given for redstone she finally headed out for the first time in days. There was one hermit she needed to track down before she could continue.

Jevin was in his base, the new one. She found it easily enough but finding the entrance was another matter entirely. So instead she landed on the glass dome of the room he was in and knocked on it. Startled the blue slime of a hermit glanced up with a start then seemed to laugh it off. Since most of the roof was glass she followed his path as he left the room and met him at the one by one hole that was apparently the current exit.

“I like the snowflake aesthetic.” Cleo commended.

“It’s not a snowflake.” Jevin countered.

“Listen, Jevin. I’m your friend so I’m going to give it to you honest.  _ It’s a snowflake _ .” She stated as if it was the most serious fact she’d ever spoken.

“Okay, fine, it’s a snowflake.” He shrugged and sighed. “That’s not why you’re here though is it? You’ve got that mischievous look.”

“I’m building a haunted house! Well, it’s already built but it needs redstone!” She said cheerfully, throwing her arms out wide.

“Well, I guess I’m your hermit. Show me what you need done.” He said, sounding a bit less grumpy. With a nod, she led the way back, taking him to the mansion and explaining what she had in mind. Once she’d pointed out all the areas he got to work, of course, this meant he’d get to come through the finished haunted house whenever he wanted free of charge.

While he did that she set about getting the armor stands that would live their lives stationary started. There was a lot of decorating and fidgeting with things to be done. Occasionally Jevin called her over to help test things but then she’d be back to what she’d been doing before and the creepy effect was quickly building. Jevin was finished with his part long before she was but that was also fine, it just meant she could work on those armor stands as well.

Once the build was finally finished she sent out word to the other hermits and set up a chest and a ‘pay what you like’ sign. That done she hurried off to get a bit dressed up. Sure she was already a zombie but everyone was used to her as she was. So with a little fake blood and different tattered outfit, she made herself that extra little bit more frightening. Once that was done she checked outside and sure enough, there were hermits gathering in a neat, chattery line. At the front of that line was none other than Joe himself. He glanced from the sign to her.

“So I can pay in my love and adoration, right? Maybe a few extra kisses?” Joe asked.

“I was hoping for diamonds.” Cleo pointed out.

“Can the ownership of shiny rocks actually compete with the feelings of love I share with you in such a simple but sacred act?” He questioned and just to tease him she stood back to think it over. There was the slightest pout that pursed his lips as doubt settled in and that was when she finally spoke up.

“I  _ suppose _ kisses from you will be enough.” She said with a shrug and in a blink, she was getting smooched. She didn’t mind one bit, as always loving his attention, she could feel the passion in it without him getting scandalous, after all, there was an audience. One that had quickly noticed.

“This isn’t the kind of frights I was expecting,” Xisuma called out in a light, teasing tone. Cleo glanced out over the line of hermits as Joe stepped back and she could see team zit swooning over each other theatrically. Looking back to Joe she sighed.

“I’ll expect further compensation later, you best head inside.” She said, pointing at the door. Joe laughed and nodded before heading through, she followed right behind and slammed the doors behind her. With that, the game was on and she let out a monstrous sounding snarl that was enough for Joe to scramble into a run. She chased him through several rooms and up the stairs but always made sure to drop back in time for him to trip a jumpscare. It was clear he hadn’t been expecting a phantom faced abomination to pop out of the floor from the sound he made on seeing it. Cleo had to stifle a laugh before darting forward with a frightening growl that sent Joe running again. She broke off and slipped into a secret room, coming out ahead of Joe in one area, timing going right along with another jumpscare. Joe scrambled off another direction, just as she’d planned and she slipped back into her secret corridor.

Cleo could hear it as Joe tripped other scares and was herded for the next staircase. She was waiting for him at the top, popping out with a growl and raking the air in front of her threateningly. Joe stumbled but this time he didn’t run, instead, he darted in close and kissed her.  _ Then _ he ran. Smirking as she continued making frightening noises she chased after him, making sure he ran the direction she wanted before she vanished again.

This repeated as he ran back down to the second level, with automated scares and then her, though he kissed her yet again the next time she jumped out at him. She was not bothered in the least by his lack of fear since it was so natural for them anyway. Cleo knew that Joe would never be afraid of her, even if she actually tried to kill him.

Finally, they were making their way back down to the first floor and the end of the haunt. She chased him as soon as he was off the stairs, at least that was the plan but he paused and waited for her to catch him so he could kiss her again. She allowed it and then let him run a few steps ahead so she could properly chase him down the long hallway, vanishing on him halfway through to get ahead of him.

She waited, hidden as he came running, the exit wasn’t clearly marked but did make sense from the layout and there was one more jumpscare. This one wasn’t an armor stand and thus, he must have thought it was her. It was not however and Cleo barked out a loud laugh when Joe mistakenly kissed Gertrude. From her vantage point, Cleo got a good view of the way Joe’s face went bright red before he jumped back, if someone could die from embarrassment he would have then and there. Gertrude however just cackled loudly before digging out a potion and gargling it.

“H-hey! I don’t have germs!” Joe snapped, now insulted on top of being embarrassed. Gertrude cast him a sideways glare while continuing to gargle. Cleo laughed so hard she was glad she didn’t need to breathe because currently, she couldn’t. Joe glanced at Cleo’s hiding place as if to beg for mercy before turning to head out the exit, likely wanting to get as far from Gertrude as he possibly could.

As soon as Cleo had pulled herself together and wiped the tears from her eyes she looked to Gertrude; who still looked amused, at least, under all that usual indifference. Outside, through the mini graveyard that made up the exit of the build, Cleo found Joe walking to the river. She caught up to look him in the eyes, he looked somewhere between being traumatized and having an existential crisis.

“Joe,” Cleo said calmly, level but warm tone and he met her gaze. “This is why kissing isn’t a currency.”

“I know you’re right.” He sighed, shaking his head at his own foolishness. It was enough to show her he’d be fine as soon as he’d had a chance to put aside the little mistake. She got the sneaking suspicion, however, that a certain resident witch was never going to let him live this down.

With Joe off to contemplate life as he often did Cleo returned to the haunt so the next hermit could play, this time with no kissing and more lightly terrified screaming. In all Cleo’s House of Jumpscares was a huge success, everyone aside from Joe enjoying it immensely and honestly Joe had enjoyed  _ most _ of it. Grian’s building hadn’t been wasted and Cleo got to make some diamonds, it was a win for everyone.

Well, everyone but Joe.

**end**

**Author's Note:**

> Oh poor, poor, Joe. They say Gertrude is still cackling about it to this day.  
> Thanks again to BastardBin for suggesting Gertrude and letting me borrow her from twol for this!
> 
> For once some fluff I set out to write stayed fluff and short!
> 
> For any of you reading the Corruption of Necromancy, I figured your hearts could use a break.


End file.
